Kara's Story

My name is Kara, I am a 25 year old mother of three; one earthly child, one heavenly soul, and one on the way.. in three weeks to be exact. And I am conquering life after loss.

My story begins a long time ago. The journey to self love has been filled with a roller coaster of emotion. My body has fluctuated in weight many times.
BUT
the story I really want to tell begins in December of 2019. My body went through the most traumatic birth experience I have endured yet. I was taken advantage of by health care workers. I would beg not to be checked as my body was working through a natural labour and the pain was so great. I would scream in pain as hands approached… flashing me back to the non consensual times that I had been touched in the past. I felt disrespected and incapable of a natural occurrence. BIRTH.

On December 8, 2019 I gave birth to one of the most perfect souls to ever come earthside. His name was Maverick.I gave my body to him night and day. We spent nights rocking in the moonlight… milk dripping down my sides as he fed from my tired, sleepless, restless body. My breasts ached and my stomach would contract as my womb was returning to herself.
A body that belonged to not only me, but to him as well. A body that we shared for nine months, and a body that nourished him for two whole months.

Two months..

On February 2nd 2020 Maverick gained his angel wings and returned to heaven.
I felt broken,
empty,
lifeless,
& quite honestly,
meaningless.

It felt like I had no purpose.
My body ached to feed my newborn and I lived in a body that I did not recognize.
Stretched and saggy from being with child.
I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself without a baby in my arms.
I felt like a stranger to myself.

It took me months to come back to myself.
Months of nurturing her.
The soul part of me that shone through my physical body.
Months of soaking in Vitamin D through the sunshine, eating what served me, dancing like no one was watching, crying through belly aches of grief, and honouring the needs of my body.. physically, spiritually, mentally & emotionally.

I fell back in love with my body as a whole and I realized how powerful she was. How much she had done in just one year let alone a lifetime.
I have never congratulated her so much.
Which leads us to today.
37 weeks pregnant with soul #3 and I have never been so excited to see what my body can accomplish through respectful support and affirmation. Rebirth is near, and I can hardly wait.

If you have worked through grief while trying to sustain your health I see you.
It can be hard,
it can feel nearly impossible,
but I promise you.
IT. IS. POSSIBLE.

It is possible to love again,
as in love HER.

The body that serves you.
She is strong
&
she is mighty.

She has done great things and she will
do great things.

Look down at
your body and whisper
There is no home like you. (A fave by Rupi Kaur)